It has been a couple days since i have updated the blog. Not sure why i haven’t been as excited and willing to write. Maybe because I am so indecisive about so much! I feel like this is a never ending problem for me. I don’t want to write something and then a day later say that the opposite is going to happen or that i decided to go the other route. I just want to know the final answer and cut off the middle man. I’m sure a lot of people can feel me on that one. Its actually a business motto, “cut the middle man and go straight to the source”.

This makes me think especially of mobsters. Mainly because i have been watching tons of Mob movies the last couple of days. The good ones like Goodfellas, Scarface and Casino.  You know, with the Kings of Gangster movies. Just can’t beat lines like Pesci’s, or the faces of De Niro and you can’t touch Pacino’s rough, piercing accent. Makes you feel like your one of them whenever you try and re-enact the way he talks  amongst your buddies. Those guys always get stuff done. Always got what they wanted but in the end they also all got what they had coming to them. It doesn’t really have anything to do with me accept the truth is sometimes in life there really isn’t a shortcut for our situation or whatever predicament we might find ourselves in. Because if we decide to take that short lived solution it will probably only end badly. Sure it will momentarily resolve things but a moment passes and real life resumes and whatever we have set up or done for ourselves is what is waiting for us. I’m trying to think smart. Sometimes i’ve acted too much on emotion, with good reason at times but it doesn’t always spawn the result I expected. The same goes with times that i have made decisions on the fantasy of what it could become knowing very well how it was going to play out. I have many dreams and desires and i’m coming to realize the ones that are actually possible and the ones that I truly can’t control.

It comes down to the fact that I can do and reach any of my desires but the ones that i can’t are the ones that depend on other peoples decisions. I can’t make someone change. I can’t make someone love me, or make someone need me. I can’t tell people who they should or shouldn’t be based on how i can benefit from their decision; or even if the benefit is the sheer pleasantry of seeing that person do better. I can definitely push those dreams to be reality but i’m going to start spending more time focusing on the ones i control and the ones i AM going to make a reality. We all have choices and in the end It’s a beautiful thing. Don’t be a wise guy ay!!